Given Mom’s dementia or decline
Given this—Dad’s dementia or Mom’s decline—how can we fit together, now? What are our special gifts, needs, fears and visions, and what’s possible with us?
:- Doug.
Archive for April 26th, 2012
Not simply being here now
Life is not simply a question
of being here now
Nor accepting
the here and now
But also of being appreciative
of how we fit into here & now
:- Doug.
I will always win
I will always win
because what I want is life,
and life always plays along
:- Doug.
Is wanting to die at home unrealistic?
Yesterday I saw a writing which suggested that wanting to die at home is looking at things through rose colored glasses, that many families are overwhelmed with caring for someone at home and prefer in the end to have the help of a hospital or other institution. Yet it seems to me the question is more nuanced even than that. It depends on the pictures people hold in their heads. What does dying look like? What do we want it to look like now, for this person we love? What is the role of technology, and for how long? Specifically, do we need beeping machines and computer monitors, wires and tubes to care for this loved one, or are blankets and wash cloths and hugs more important? Is quiet better than machines at whole-making? Are we afraid to touch? Are we afraid to see? Do we see our own mortality, or do we choose to see someone who needs our loving, someone who is loving us?
:- Doug.
